somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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