Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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