im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
it's like heaven, but drunker
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
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