I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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