I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Watching her eat just hurts me
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
