Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
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