defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
