I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize