Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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