If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
