Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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