I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
