Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Randomize