Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
