Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
