you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
