do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Randomize
