yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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