so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
