I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
