in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
