In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
Randomize
