Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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