I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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