i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
