y did u give ur computer a hand job?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
