I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
