I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
