this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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