It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You can't just leave with hair like that
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
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