Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
