I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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