Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
