I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
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