What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Can you bring me the toilet please
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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