Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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