how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
