Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
