so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
the day after is always just damage control
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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