so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize