It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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