Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize