Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Randomize
