i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Houston, we have a squirter
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
