so let's talk penis.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
