i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
