when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
