I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
