I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
