no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
