I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
