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• (850): View more from Florida

  Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.

  (1-850): View more from Florida

  Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming

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• (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting

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• (740): View more from Ohio

  you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god

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• (309): View more from Illinois

  so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....

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• (361): View more from Texas

  like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.

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• (612): View more from Minnesota

  I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.

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• (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed

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• (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  they paper machayed me.

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.

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• (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES

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• (540): View more from Virginia

  Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.

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• (863): View more from Florida

  Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.

  (813): View more from Florida

  What. The. Fuck.

  (863): View more from Florida

  Family acid trip.

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• (813): View more from Florida

  It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.

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