We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
