You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Randomize