i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its about making memories worth repressing
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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