We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
Randomize
