oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize