i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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