Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Randomize
