My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
