glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
